[Meghan Daum] epub Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids Free – Kindle eBook, TXT & PDF Download


  • Hardcover
  • 288
  • Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids
  • Meghan Daum
  • English
  • 03 June 2017
  • 9781250052933
Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

review Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids read & download Õ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Û Meghan Daum Meghan Daum Û 0 download Id Nunez Kate Christiensen Elliott Holt Geoff Dyer and Tim Kreider among others offer a uniue perspective on the overwhelming cultural pressure of parenthood Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed makes a thoughtful and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path in life taking our parent centric kid fixated baby bump patrolling culture to task in the process What emerges is a nuanced diverse view of what it means to live a full satisfying life This hit the spot Almost I wanted to read the perspectives of writers who not only didn t have children but were thrilled with the decision to the point of being relieved that they trusted their intuition who like me are edified by their decision each passing year rather than being unnerved by it or the social judgment that accompanies it I found several of my own reasons for being persona non mama scattered throughout but the BEST and most identifiable for me was the final essay written by a man Tim Kreider s The End of the Line Yet despite claims of diversity by Daum it lacked that big time I m always guarded by a mainstreamer s view of diversity which tends to translate into less than ALL being the same or five kinds of ethnicity from the same region of one continent Of the 16 essays one was offensively privileged Be Here Now Means Be Gone Later by Lionel Shriver and one was justnarrow minded to the point of being disgusting You d be Such a Good Mother If Only You Weren t You by MG Lord I mean this broad talked about which people deserved her attention get the fuck outta here Others were a study in the conventional Most went out of their way to explain that they loved children or were involved with them in some other capacity Why There was still an underlying air of defensiveness that was disappointing but I suppose just speaks to the larger need for collections of this kind In any event it was pretty vanilla in terms of presented SES of the authors and I beg the uestion of what s the point of diversity if there s an effort to deny how that impacts the decision to have a child Still it s a start and overall well written while also being refreshingly honest on everything from abortions to relationships to being able to love a friend s child while having ZERO envy for the life they live in raising said child I was also buoyed by folks admitting how many people have kids just to avoid regretting not doing it only to realize that no life is regret free I d re read most of these and they did inspire me to write my own essay on the topic purely for self edification and seeing how many of the authors ideas intersect in my own life while knowing that certain concerns were never voiced by this group I mean it is only 16 essays and what it means to be an insert blank woman within segregated communities who opts not to have children and the reaction from a particular culture that is insulated and isolated from the larger mainstream world of most of these authors is another matter But I m free to write that journey Daum doesn t need to find someone to do it for me though that would be diverse So three stars for several reasons but I enjoyed each one of those stars And I so love a Kreider uote of what much of opting to honor feeling complete without reproducing means to me that I ll end with it Admittedly calling not having children the ultimate act of free will may be a little grandiose People on both sides of the reproductive divide tend to be self congratulatory about choices that are let s be honest completely beyond their conscious control like people who ve inherited wealth thinking they deserve it Parents need to somehow justify the lives of sputum tuition and sarcastic abuse to which they ve condemned themselves and so make their own grandiose claims about parenthood s ineffable fulfillments and beneficent effects that one cannot possibly know what real love is unless you ve had children that it is life s ultimate purpose et cetera Reproduction as raison d etre has always seemed to me to beg the whole uestion of existence If the ultimate purpose of your life is your children what s the purpose of your children s lives To have your grandchildren Isn t anyone s life ultimately meaningful in itself If not what s the point of propagating it ad infinitum For me and many in this volume there is no point

read & download Õ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Û Meghan Daum

review Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids read & download Õ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Û Meghan Daum Meghan Daum Û 0 download Sixteen Literary Luminaries On The Controversial Subject Of Being Childless By Choice Collected In One Fascinating AnthologyOne of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed fertility crisis and whether modern women could figure out a way to way to have it all a successful demanding career and the reuired 23 children before their biological clock stopped ticking Now however conversation has turned to whether it's I was slightly disappointed that most of the women in the book had actually courted or coveted motherhood for a time and missed the window than made an active choice ironically I most identified with a male writer s essay because he has always firmly known he didn t want children one of only a couple in the book But still I found the essays interesting and I love that the topic is now open for intelligent dialogue

review Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

review Selfish Shallow and Self Absorbed Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids read & download Õ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Û Meghan Daum Meghan Daum Û 0 download Necessary to have it all or perhaps controversial whether children are really a reuirement for a fulfilling life The idea that some women and men prefer not to have children is often met with sharp criticism and incredulity by the public and mainstream mediaIn this provocative and controversial collection of essays curated by writer Meghan Daum sixteen acclaimed writers explain why they have chosen to eschew parenthood Contributors Lionel Shriver Sigr I ve known since I was a kid that I didn t want to be a mother I have a distinct memory of being 7 or 8 and joining my own mom and her aunts and cousins on a Memorial Day trip to decorate family graves In the cemetery I remember coming across a string of Depression era headstones for a set of siblings who all died as children and declaring I never wanted to have kids I don t know why that was the moment it clicked for me but it was The women who were there with me all enjoyed a good laugh and told me that I would change my mind one day when I grew up You know what It s been than 20 years and I still haven t changed my mind But just as recently as last week people are still telling me that I ll change my mind Turns out people ask a lot of uestions about your plans for parenthood when you are a newlywed I want to tell all these people I m 31 goddamn years old I think I ve had enough time to think this through I ve had moments of doubt along the way where I wonder if maybe I ll regret it when I get old I ve even picked out names for children I know I don t want Chelsea Evan and Ryan Cage But 999% of the time I think about the idea of doing it and I know that it is not an experience I want for myself There s a whole slew of reasons why I feel this way I m an incredibly anxious person and sometimes just having a cat to provide for is stressful enough a dog seems like too much work for me I don t trust that I would ever feel confident in what I was doing to the point where I wouldn t permanently fuck up a child My own mother passed away when I was a teen and I can t imagine coming home from the hospital with a newborn and not having her there to tell me what to do with my nipples It s only been within the last couple years that I ve gotten to a place where I feel financially stable and the cost of raising a child would almost certainly destroy that I would have to forgo most of the things that I ve always wanted to do that I couldn t afford when I was in my twenties and I wouldn t have the kind of mobility I want in my life to be able to move to a new city uninhibited I think of how busy I am now and how hard it already is to find time to relax between work and general household kind of stuff Throwing a kid into the mix would be overwhelming Then there s the fact that I simply don t enjoy being around kids I m not I hate kids or anything but I really don t have the patience to deal with temper tantrums and even when it s time to play it s exhausting to put myself on the same level as a small kid for than anything considered brief It s just not for me Not even a little bit Call me selfish call me self absorbed whatever I know it s not something I want and I know it s not something I would ever feel like I was doing well I come across so few like minded females and as and of my friends begin to procreate I feel like they re drifting away from me whether because we now have less in common or because they just have less time I don t know but it still makes me sad So I was really excited to read this book and feel like I could relate There were a few essays that made me wrinkle my nose but overall this book is fantastic Reading it was a powerful experience for me